Em       Am     Em         Am                 Em
I'm counting back the number of the steps
    Am                  Em          Am      C            D
it took for me to get back on the wagon of the weekend
Em  Am           Em   Am                   G
I'll use the oven timer to prove that I'll
     Em              C            D
get home with my imagination
Em      Am          C                D
if they find the body in the basement
G        Em     C                          D
in the very house that she was raised in

Em   Am     Em            Am               Em
I'm taking down the number of the times
       Am                   Em           Am       C                 D
so when we get the sign from god I'll be the first to call them
Em   Am    Em         Am                  G
I'm taking back the number of the beast
           Em     C                 D
cause six is not a pretty number
 Em         Am          C            D
eight or three are definitely better
G      Em       C                      D
A is for the address on the letter
Em      Am  C D       Em  Am Em Am Bm
to my alcoholic friends

Em   Am    Em   Am          Em
I'm trying hard not to be ashamed
Am                     Em       Am       C             D
not to know the name of who is waking up beside me
Em       Am         C                    D
or the date, the season, or the city
G         Em         C                   D
but at least the ceiling's very pretty
Em      Am         C              D
and if you are holding it against me
Em    Am      Bm      Am
I'll be on my best behavior
Em      Am          Bm        Am
taking shots for mother nature
 Em        Am    Bm       Am
once my fist is in the cupboard
Em       Am     Bm    Am
love is never falling over

(repeat intro riff) Em Am Bm

Em           Am          C              D
Should I choose a noble occupation?
Em   Am      C                   D
If I did I'd only show up late and
G             Em            C                    D
sick and they would tear at me with hatred
G            Em   C                    D
plus my only natural talent's wasted
Em      Am  C   D    Em
on my alcoholic friends
       Am  C   D    Em
my alcoholic friends
      Am    C    D    Em
the party never ends
       Am  C    D    Em
my alcoholic friends