(chords played on off-beats, change on each measure - 4/4, 200bpm)

   Dm             C                 Gm            Bb
He told me that I knew just what to laugh at
      Dm            C               Gm              Bb
and I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back so
F       G        Bb
I could know for certain..

   Dm             C                     Gm            Bb
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
      Dm         C                Gm            Bb
while doubling entendres with the voicings.
           Dm                C                Gm            Bb
He said, "Oh darling, you're charming, Please don't find it alarming if I 
Dm        C                Gm            Bb
pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting!"

F             Bb
Now, there, there;
F                Bb
I'm a friendly man.
F            Bb               F
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're
Dm         C     Gm     Bb
frightened  (ah, ah)
    Dm   C    Gm    Bb
(ah ah,    ah ah)


   Dm         C                  Gm        Bb
So silently I sat and turned the pages,
  Dm          C              Gm            Bb
recalculating our respective ages.
        Dm           C             Gm        Bb
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older, you can
Dm      C                    Gm                 Bb
hack my wrists off with your choice of objects, no, I'm kidding"

F           Bb
Don't be scared;
F                Bb
I'm a friendly man.
F            Bb                 F
I joke about death because it's funny when you're
Dm         C     Gm     Bb
frightened  (ah, ah)
    Dm   C    Gm    Bb
(ah ah,    ah ah)

F          Bbm            F
This is as far as I could get.
            Bb           F
He jabbed a needle in my neck,
        Bb         F
erasing all the evidence,
               Bb                F
but there were matchsticks in my pants,
         Bb                 F
and if a rock should hit my head
        Bb             F
and I remember what he did,
              F             F
you'll be the very first to know.
           F                 F                     F
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding!

(break)
Dm  C  Gm  Bb  Dm  C  Gm  Bb

   Dm             C                Gm        Bb
He told me that I showed a great potential,
     Dm             C                Gm              Bb
that given I turned heads and pages, fame would be a piece of cake
    F        G     Bb
but practice was essential..
   Dm            C         Gm          Bb
So like a stupid child I believed it
    Dm               C         Gm        Bb
and golly, who would ever had agreed if
           Dm          C         Gm           Bb
I had been Schubert or Mozart, devoted to the fine art of
   Dm      C          Gm           Bb
perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential.

F          Bb
Don't be sad;
F                 Bb
I'll come back again.
F            Bb                    F
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be
  Dm         C     Gm     Bb
enlightened   (ah, ah)
    Dm   C    Gm    Bb
(ah ah,    ah ah)

F          Bbm               F
So several decades have gone by.
           Bb             F
I am still sitting by his side.
           Bb            F
I turn the pages faithfully.
             Bb                 F
He turns his head and smiles at me
           Bb               F
and with a wink he says, "I doubt
            F            F
we would be anywhere without
              F                 F                F
your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting.."

(instrumental to end)