Intro: Gm

Gm Bb/G
Mary Long is a hypocrite
C/G Gm
She does all the things that she tells us not to do
Bb/G
Selling filth from a corner shop
C/G Gm
And knitting patterns to the high street queue
Bb/G
She paints roses, even makes them smell good
C/G Gm
And then she draws titties on the khazy wall
Bb/G
Drowns kittens just to get a thrill
C/G Gm
And writes sermons in the Sun-day Chronicle
Eb Bb F C Gm
How did you lose your virginity, Ma-ry Long ?
Bb F C7
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?

Mary told Johnny not to write such trash
Said it was a waste of public money
She made a fuss, they made apologies
But everybody thought the show was funny
When the nation knew you´d had children
It came as such a surprise
We really didn´t know you´d had it in you
How you did it we can only surmise

How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?

Mary Long, you´re not alone
But you´re a long way behind our times
What we do in full frontal view
Is more honest than your clean-up mind
What I´m saying, Mary Long is
When you can spare a minute
Go find your friend the porny Lord
Dig your self a hole and jump in it

How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?